


Lost Boys

by timeheist



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5844076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeheist/pseuds/timeheist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He spat, clearing his dry throat, and Poe could see how it hurt him. Both the old wound from the fight on Starkiller and the effort of finally saying what he should have said years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Boys

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Snipe_Hunt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snipe_Hunt/gifts).



> This is a commission done to help repair my pipes. If you're interested in commissioning me, check out [this link](http://nanaimomento.tumblr.com/post/138121321353/emergency-writing-commissions-save-my-pipes). Thanks!

They were at an impasse. The Resistance’s favourite pilot and the First Order’s sith golden boy. As so often happened in ground battles one of them had tried to be a hero and the other had taken the bait and followed them. This isn’t a story about heroes and villains. This is a story about two star-crossed lovers and lost boys.

Poe Dameron was a flirt. He’d talked his way into the bunks of half the girls in the Resistance (and a good few of the men, too), and he didn’t care if you were human or alien. Ben Solo, on the other hand, was a shadow. A quiet boy who stammered when he tried to talk to other boys and who sought the company of older women who fauned over him and pinched his cheeks and tried to put some meat on his bones. They were as different as two boys could possibly be and yet they’d found common ground; Poe in someone who would do whatever he said and aid him in his pranks and Ben in someone he could come to with any problems, any grievance, and have it dealt with.

Maybe Poe shouldn’t have encouraged him. He worried he had almost daily. Perhaps Ben should have told Poe exactly how he felt. He regretted that almost daily. And now here they were, pilot and sith, blaster and force, on opposite sides of a war that expected each of them to kill the other. So why were neither of them moving?

It was Ben - who called himself Kylo Ren, these days - who spoke first, for the first time in their relationship. He spat, clearing his dry throat, and Poe could see how it hurt him. Both the old wound from the fight on Starkiller and the effort of finally saying what he should have said years ago.

“I adored you.”

“I know-”

“No, you bastard.” Kylo Ren choked, tearing the mask of Kylo Ren from his face and throwing it violently to the ground. “You never knew.”

Kylo Ren’s brow furrowed, guilt marring his pretty features. “We were friends, Ben.”

“Yes.” Kylo Ren spat again, teeth showing. “Friends. And you never knew I wanted more than that.”

“I knew.” Poe sighed, running a hand through his hair with his free hand. Where was the rest of the Resistance? He’d lost this fight already. He knew he couldn’t beat this man that Ben had become and anyway - all he wanted to do was bring home the boy he’d been and try to make amends. “Of course I knew, everyone knew.”

The other man’s eyes flashed with anger. “You were laughing at me, weren’t you?”

“No, I-”

“I should have known. Snoke knew.” Kylo Ren let his ‘weapon’ drop, scrunching his gloved hands into impregnable fists. He paced across the forest, eyes always on the pilot, like a caged animal. “Snoke told me how much you all hated me. Well look at me now.”

“I am, Ben.” Poe’s face fell, his grip on his blaster unsteady and loose. “I don’t like what I see.”

“That’s not my name.”

“Is it not?” Poe snorted, laughing darkly. “Well then we’ve got a problem, ‘cause I’m not in love with Kylo Ren.”

“No, you’re -”

Kylo Ren stepped forward in one long stride, hand raised, but he froze an inch from the pilot’s face. His mouth opened and shut like a fish, shock stealing his breath, and Poe took advantage of his hesitation to holster his bolter, grab the man’s wrist and press his hand against his own cheek. The two held each other’s gaze, both sets of eyes wet; one pair with fury, the other with guilt. The silence seemed to go on for hours, Kylo’s hand against Poe’s face, Poe holding him close in a white-knuckled grip, until Kylo finally yanked his arm free and stared at Poe as though he had two heads. Poe lifted his hands up again, cupping Kylo’s cheeks in his scarred and scratched hands and pulling him into a long, slow kiss.

“I’m not in love with Kylo Ren.” Poe pulled away, licking a bead of blood from his lip where Kylo had bitten it but never letting go of the sith apprentice’s face. “But I do love Ben Solo…”


End file.
